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August 7
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With lust all sins are desired.
With gluttony all sins are consumed.
With avarice all sins are gathered.
With pride display sins as riches.
With envy others sins are stolen.
With sloth all sins are lost.
With wrath are other sins destroyed.
A short 'poem' for want of a better term created from the titles of the Six Word Stories written for sixwordstories.deviantart.com/ challenge. 

Each sin in my collection forms part of a series of stories. 
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:iconinchaotus:
Inchaotus Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is not bad.

I will say, though, that I don't think starting each line with "with" was either necessary nor in your best interests. It gets slightly repetitive, and not in a good way. Perhaps you would try with a bit less conventional of a structure? I really feel this is the sort of poem that would benefit from that.

As always, though, that's just my opinion, and just because I think it could be better doesn't mean it wasn't already good ;)

Derpy Clapping Icon 
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:icondragonrider4000:
Dragonrider4000 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014
Yes, it's not normally a rhythm I would have employed in a poem. 

This work only came about because I was writing to complete a challenge, I noticed the titles had a certain rhythm to them that I liked and they worked rather well together. It's certainly not what I would consider my best work but it brought together the folder of short stories I had created for the challenge rather nicely. 
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:iconinchaotus:
Inchaotus Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, I'm actually working on that challenge now, lol.

I actually get what the description was about now, and as such, it's hard to really judge this, I suppose.
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:icondragonrider4000:
Dragonrider4000 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014
Oh like any piece of work in can be judged. It's why I explained why the wording was done in such a way when you pointed it out. 

How's far are you in the challenge? :)
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:iconinchaotus:
Inchaotus Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I've completed all seven, actually. Some of them I like more than others; Lust was perfect, while Gluttony was practically filler.
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